i was just thinking about last february, when i went to pick him up from the airport. he had been away for over two weeks on a last-minute trip to mexico.
we had talked four times a day almost every day he was away, by phone and by internet. i missed him so much that it hurt, and all i wanted to do was to see him and hug him and kiss him. just to be near him again. i wanted to tell him that yes, i loved him too (but i wouldn’t do it).
i drove what felt like one hundred miles per hour up the interstate to get to the airport. i parked my car in the parking garage and rushed through the airport at midnight to get to the gate where i would be reunited with the man that i love.
it felt like the first night i went to meet him, our first date. i had butterflies in my stomach that felt like they were crawling up my throat trying to break free. my heart was pounding, and i was almost in tears just thinking about seeing his face again — right in front of me. to feel his arms around me again. to hear him whisper in my ear “i love you” as he held me tighter than ever.
when he finally came through that gate, i didn’t even know what to do. i was so nervous that i had forgotten everything that i had rehearsed in my head during the days and hours and minutes leading up to our reunion. i didn’t want him to see me first, so i made sure to stay hidden. but i crept up beside him as he made his way to the baggage claim — and it was magic all over again. all we could do was hug, then kiss, then hug again. he couldn’t take his eyes off me, and all i wanted to do was melt into his arms and hope he’d never let me go.
we barely spoke on the walk back to the car, and once in the car all he could was kiss me and make up for the lost time — the time he left me behind. the car ride back was equally silent as i once again drove what felt like light speed this time. there was no need for words, just closeness and the knowledge that all we needed was each other.
i haven’t thought about that night in quite some time, but remembering it now has brought me to tears.
i wish i could feel that magic again; i wish i could feel so loved again; i wish we could be so hungrily in love again (whether he knew my feelings at the time or not).
